How Not To Treat the Mother of a Large Family

How Not To Treat the Mother of a Large Family

The title of this post sounds a lot more innocent than it really is. I wanted to title this post, What To Say To the Mother Of A Large Family If You Enjoy Getting Smacked Upside Your Head but I thought that was a tad too wordy.

As you can probably imagine, the comments that I get on a daily basis range from light hearted to down right inappropriate. Some people adore the thought of a large family or perhaps they were raised in one themselves. Others are amazed at our stupidity.

The comments started a lot earlier than you would think. We started getting them after we had our second and soon after I was expecting again. You would think a woman pushing two children around in a shopping cart with a pregnant belly wouldn't draw too much attention but you would be very wrong.

So without further ado, here are some of the gems that we have heard over the years. I have arranged these in no particular order but  I have included what I have wanted to say (or in some cases did say) for your reading enjoyment. :-)

1. Don't you know what causes that? What I thought: Really? Really!?! Do I need to explain this to you? What I have really said: "It either has something to do with us washing our underwear together or it's something in the water."

2. Are you Catholic, Mormon, Amish....? What I thought: Do I look Amish? Profile much? What I said: "No, we are Primitive Baptist and no, not all Primitive Baptist have X number children."

3. Don't you have a T.V./cable? What I thought: If you think anything on television is more fun than what causes kids then you, my dear, are doing it wrong. What I have said: "Why, yes, we do."

4. Are they all yours? What I thought: No, we just drive around and pick up kids until our van is full and then we go grocery shopping. What we say: Daniel tells them that they are all his but he's not sure who their Moms are.

5. You sure have your hands full. What I thought: Sure do, now let me cut in line. :-) What I said: "Yes, I do. We have been very blessed."

6. What kind of birth control  do you use? (This is the rudest comment ever.) What I thought: Really? How is that any of your business? What I said: "We don't believe in birth control." I think in the future I will just repeat the question to the person that asks it. (If they are asking in a mean spirit.)

7. Which one is your favorite (the best kid)? Usually followed closely by, Which one is your least favorite (or the worst kid)? (This one is usually asked in front of all of the kids.) What I thought: What kind of idiot are you to ask me that, especially in front of my kids? What Daniel said: "What kind of question is that and why would you ask me it in front of the kids?. LOL

8. Are you planning on getting fixed? What I thought? You are a nosey rosy. I think you should fix your manners. What I said: "Clearly, nothing is broken."

9. Better you than me! What I thought: With that attitude, yes! What I said: "Yes ma'am/sir."

10. When are you gonna stop? What I thought: When you stop asking silly questions. What I said: "Well, we aren't gonna stop until we have an ugly one and every time we have another they just keep getting cuter!" or "That's up to God."

I could go on but I see no need. As you can see, there is no end to the nonsense. In fact, it has become a source of amusement for Daniel and I to watch people in restaurants as we walk to our table. Most people aren't aware of how their heads bob up and down and how their mouths move when they are counting the children. We just smile, sit the kids down in their spots and hope that they behave. If we are approached we smile and try and convey to the person that is inquiring into our lives that we are just ordinary people trying to serve and extraordinary God.

God Bless you all!