Do you ever have something that bothers you so bad that you really can't get over that one thing? Usually it is a problem that you have no control over whatsoever. I can relate.
I have only told a few people what I am about to divulge here. So please read it with love and understanding.
We have 6 children ranging in age from 12yrs down to 5yrs. Our children are what people like to call stair steps. We didn't mean to have them at any particular spacing, it just seemed to happen that way.
We had our first and I started back on birth control but stopped taking it soon after since I was nursing and it caused my milk supply to drop. We became pregnant again when Amberly was 7 months old but lost that baby. The very next month I conceived Seth and his twin (whom he has named Michael). I lost Michael around the 12 week of pregnancy. During my pregnancy with Seth we started to search the Bible to find out what the Lord said about birth control. The one thing that we read over and over again about children was that they were the Lords blessing. The thought started to resonate with us that maybe we shouldn't discourage children from being conceived.
It was pretty easy after that. The babies came and who doesn't love a new baby? Rebekah was born when Seth was just 18mo old. Noah showed up when Rebekah was just 16mo old. Then came our closest spacing, Noah and Lori. Lori was born 15mo after Noah. It was busy to say the least! Then we had a long break for us. It was a full 22mo before Hallie came along. I thanked the Lord for giving us a bigger break.
By this time trusting the Lord with our fertility and child spacing had become an easy thing. We didn't even think about it. In fact we had come to just expect that once the last child was around 9 months of age, that I would be carrying the next one. That's just how it worked (or so we thought).
Boy, were we in for a wake up call!
Around the time Hallie turned 6mo old I had taken a pregnancy test. It was positive but that pregnancy ended 2 weeks later. Then there was nothing. We had entered a whole new realm of trust with the Lord and I did not like it one little bit. I began to worry about my body and Daniels. I mean, why weren't we getting pregnant? What was wrong with us? Why was God punishing us? Of course, I didn't verbalize these things that soon, but you can bet they were there. Trusting God seemed to be a lot easier when he was giving me something that I wanted. :-) Daniel reminded me to be thankful for the children that we did have. At the time, I was thankful for my children. I just wanted to have another.
Fast forward 2 years and many pregnancy tests later, still no baby. It was at this point that I was getting frantic. I mean, I was about to turn 30 and I was just sure that it was all gonna be over after 30. I started asking my gynecologist questions and she responded with, all's well. So, it was then, that I stepped over the threshold into the land of "trying to get pregnant". I temped and charted, I timed everything so that we would have the best chance of getting pregnant. Nothing worked. I never mentioned this to anyone because I didn't want to hear that I should be thankful. I wanted another baby and that was that.
(I just wanted to add that I don't think it was a bad thing for me to want another baby. I think that is a very good desire for a woman to have. That being said, secondary infertility is just as painful as primary infertility. So if you know a woman that has a child or even more than one child whose arms feel empty, please so her some compassion. It's not her fault that she doesn't feel as if her family is complete yet. She isn't just being selfish, I promise.)
It was then that I started to get very bitter. I thought that I "deserved" another baby. Prideful, right? Instead of trusting God, I was having a problem just hearing a pregnancy announcement. I stopped holding new babies because it made me too emotional. It was a rough time that lasted way too long. I got mad at Daniel for not being as torn up about our inability to get pregnant as I was. It was horrible. But like everything, it all works together for our good.
I started to pray about it. I started to study the Bible. It does say that children are Gods blessing and I still believe that with every fiber of my being. We still are trusting the Lord with his timing, but I have finally laid the burden of my fertility at Gods feet where it belongs. And after I did, such a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I can now enjoy the children that I have and not worry about it. With that burden has disappeared my bitterness for pregnancy announcements and seeing women with pregnant bellies walking around the mall. I wish I had known what to do 4 years ago, but I doubt that it would've had the same effect. I don't know if God will bless us with any more children but I know that He has opened our hearts to adoption through all of this. So maybe our family will grow through that avenue. I don't know right now and that's just fine.
God bless you all!
Friday, April 5, 2013
Rebekah's Birth Story
In April we have 2 birthdays to celebrate, Amberly's and Rebekah's.
Rebekah's birthday is the 12th. It wasn't supposed to be though. Her due date was May 5th. She has been anxious to get to business since before she was born. :-)
My pregnancy with Rebekah was not an easy one. Daniel had just been stationed in Abilene at Dyess AFB so we were moving into a strange new place. For the first five and a half months I could barely keep water down. I lost 18lbs those first few months. It was so bad that it finally scared Daniel and he took me into the ER where they gave me about 4 bags of fluid. After that, I started feeling better.
I had sought the care of a lay midwife since there were no CNM in the Abilene area. I tried to keep my obstetrician but he kicked us out of his office when he found out that we were planning a home birth! So we finally found a midwife and started our care with her. Everything went fine after my extreme morning sickness stopped. We didn't even tell anyone that we were expecting until I was 20 weeks along. It was like it was our own little secret and we didn't have to hear anything negative about having another baby. :-)
At around 35 weeks, like always, I started contracting on and off but my midwife told me that nothing was "happening" so to calm down and relax. On the afternoon of April 11th I started having some contractions and I tried to ignore them and go about the day. I was 37 weeks that day so I wasn't really worried. We went to the grocery store and then to Babys R Us to get another package of diapers. When Daniel got home from work that afternoon I started cooking dinner and then I felt a small pop and felt a gush of water. My water had broke!
I called my midwife who came right on over and checked things out. I was at 4cm dilated and 50% effaced. She couldn't tell if it was my amniotic sac that had ruptured or not. She left to go check on her daughter and Daniel and I put the kids to bed and settled down for a movie. I kept feeling contractions but they weren't getting bad at all. This continued all night. The next morning my midwife came over and asked to talk to Daniel outside. She told him that she wanted the rest of her payment then. He gave it to her and she told him to take me to the hospital. She said that nothing was wrong but that she had just had a mother deliver a still born baby under her care and she didn't want to take a risk. That would've been understandable but what she said next was not. She said that she would not be accompanying me to the hospital like she had promised she would do in the event that I needed to be transferred to a hospital. She just took her money and left! I had no idea what to do! Daniel called for our babysitter and then we left for the hospital. We knew full well what kind of treatment we were going to get when we got there. And we were right. We were considered outcasts for trying to have a homebirth. All the nurses were looking down their noses at us. And the doctor did too. We finally asked for a new nurse and doctor. The nurse that came in was totally different (praise God) and the doctor was way more laid back as well.
I am terrified of Pitocin so after contractions were established my nurse turned it down. She said that after I had established a good pattern of labor then it was no longer needed. She unhooked my i.v. so that I could have mobility and she even got down on the floor with me when I had to get into weird positions to cope. Less than an hour later I was pushing.
Here's where it got funny. The doctor thought that he was helping, I guess. He knew our method of coaching that we use. We use "Husband Coached Childbirth" better known as the Bradley Method. He kept telling me not to push (even though my body was pushing) and he kept telling Daniel to get me under control. HA! Then he was pushing down on me (down there) claiming that he was stretching things. It was hurting more than the actual pain of childbirth. So I told him that I was gonna kick him if he didn't stop. He ignored me until the nurse told him to watch out. I was about to let him have it and the nurse felt me pull my leg back to kick. Thankfully, he quit. Finally Rebekah was born and it was more than an hour before they let me hold her. They kept telling me that her oxygen saturation wasn't high enough even though she had pinked up and was breathing fine. Turns out, the machine was messed up. She was our smallest baby. 5lbs 10oz and 19 inches long. But she has always been a fighter and she still is to this day.
God Bless you all!
Rebekah's birthday is the 12th. It wasn't supposed to be though. Her due date was May 5th. She has been anxious to get to business since before she was born. :-)
My pregnancy with Rebekah was not an easy one. Daniel had just been stationed in Abilene at Dyess AFB so we were moving into a strange new place. For the first five and a half months I could barely keep water down. I lost 18lbs those first few months. It was so bad that it finally scared Daniel and he took me into the ER where they gave me about 4 bags of fluid. After that, I started feeling better.
I had sought the care of a lay midwife since there were no CNM in the Abilene area. I tried to keep my obstetrician but he kicked us out of his office when he found out that we were planning a home birth! So we finally found a midwife and started our care with her. Everything went fine after my extreme morning sickness stopped. We didn't even tell anyone that we were expecting until I was 20 weeks along. It was like it was our own little secret and we didn't have to hear anything negative about having another baby. :-)
At around 35 weeks, like always, I started contracting on and off but my midwife told me that nothing was "happening" so to calm down and relax. On the afternoon of April 11th I started having some contractions and I tried to ignore them and go about the day. I was 37 weeks that day so I wasn't really worried. We went to the grocery store and then to Babys R Us to get another package of diapers. When Daniel got home from work that afternoon I started cooking dinner and then I felt a small pop and felt a gush of water. My water had broke!
I called my midwife who came right on over and checked things out. I was at 4cm dilated and 50% effaced. She couldn't tell if it was my amniotic sac that had ruptured or not. She left to go check on her daughter and Daniel and I put the kids to bed and settled down for a movie. I kept feeling contractions but they weren't getting bad at all. This continued all night. The next morning my midwife came over and asked to talk to Daniel outside. She told him that she wanted the rest of her payment then. He gave it to her and she told him to take me to the hospital. She said that nothing was wrong but that she had just had a mother deliver a still born baby under her care and she didn't want to take a risk. That would've been understandable but what she said next was not. She said that she would not be accompanying me to the hospital like she had promised she would do in the event that I needed to be transferred to a hospital. She just took her money and left! I had no idea what to do! Daniel called for our babysitter and then we left for the hospital. We knew full well what kind of treatment we were going to get when we got there. And we were right. We were considered outcasts for trying to have a homebirth. All the nurses were looking down their noses at us. And the doctor did too. We finally asked for a new nurse and doctor. The nurse that came in was totally different (praise God) and the doctor was way more laid back as well.
I am terrified of Pitocin so after contractions were established my nurse turned it down. She said that after I had established a good pattern of labor then it was no longer needed. She unhooked my i.v. so that I could have mobility and she even got down on the floor with me when I had to get into weird positions to cope. Less than an hour later I was pushing.
Here's where it got funny. The doctor thought that he was helping, I guess. He knew our method of coaching that we use. We use "Husband Coached Childbirth" better known as the Bradley Method. He kept telling me not to push (even though my body was pushing) and he kept telling Daniel to get me under control. HA! Then he was pushing down on me (down there) claiming that he was stretching things. It was hurting more than the actual pain of childbirth. So I told him that I was gonna kick him if he didn't stop. He ignored me until the nurse told him to watch out. I was about to let him have it and the nurse felt me pull my leg back to kick. Thankfully, he quit. Finally Rebekah was born and it was more than an hour before they let me hold her. They kept telling me that her oxygen saturation wasn't high enough even though she had pinked up and was breathing fine. Turns out, the machine was messed up. She was our smallest baby. 5lbs 10oz and 19 inches long. But she has always been a fighter and she still is to this day.
God Bless you all!
Monday, April 1, 2013
How Not To Treat the Mother of a Large Family
How Not To Treat the Mother of a Large Family
The title of this post sounds a lot more innocent than it really is. I wanted to title this post, What To Say To the Mother Of A Large Family If You Enjoy Getting Smacked Upside Your Head but I thought that was a tad too wordy.
As you can probably imagine, the comments that I get on a daily basis range from light hearted to down right inappropriate. Some people adore the thought of a large family or perhaps they were raised in one themselves. Others are amazed at our stupidity.
The comments started a lot earlier than you would think. We started getting them after we had our second and soon after I was expecting again. You would think a woman pushing two children around in a shopping cart with a pregnant belly wouldn't draw too much attention but you would be very wrong.
So without further ado, here are some of the gems that we have heard over the years. I have arranged these in no particular order but I have included what I have wanted to say (or in some cases did say) for your reading enjoyment. :-)
1. Don't you know what causes that? What I thought: Really? Really!?! Do I need to explain this to you? What I have really said: "It either has something to do with us washing our underwear together or it's something in the water."
2. Are you Catholic, Mormon, Amish....? What I thought: Do I look Amish? Profile much? What I said: "No, we are Primitive Baptist and no, not all Primitive Baptist have X number children."
3. Don't you have a T.V./cable? What I thought: If you think anything on television is more fun than what causes kids then you, my dear, are doing it wrong. What I have said: "Why, yes, we do."
4. Are they all yours? What I thought: No, we just drive around and pick up kids until our van is full and then we go grocery shopping. What we say: Daniel tells them that they are all his but he's not sure who their Moms are.
5. You sure have your hands full. What I thought: Sure do, now let me cut in line. :-) What I said: "Yes, I do. We have been very blessed."
6. What kind of birth control do you use? (This is the rudest comment ever.) What I thought: Really? How is that any of your business? What I said: "We don't believe in birth control." I think in the future I will just repeat the question to the person that asks it. (If they are asking in a mean spirit.)
7. Which one is your favorite (the best kid)? Usually followed closely by, Which one is your least favorite (or the worst kid)? (This one is usually asked in front of all of the kids.) What I thought: What kind of idiot are you to ask me that, especially in front of my kids? What Daniel said: "What kind of question is that and why would you ask me it in front of the kids?. LOL
8. Are you planning on getting fixed? What I thought? You are a nosey rosy. I think you should fix your manners. What I said: "Clearly, nothing is broken."
9. Better you than me! What I thought: With that attitude, yes! What I said: "Yes ma'am/sir."
10. When are you gonna stop? What I thought: When you stop asking silly questions. What I said: "Well, we aren't gonna stop until we have an ugly one and every time we have another they just keep getting cuter!" or "That's up to God."
I could go on but I see no need. As you can see, there is no end to the nonsense. In fact, it has become a source of amusement for Daniel and I to watch people in restaurants as we walk to our table. Most people aren't aware of how their heads bob up and down and how their mouths move when they are counting the children. We just smile, sit the kids down in their spots and hope that they behave. If we are approached we smile and try and convey to the person that is inquiring into our lives that we are just ordinary people trying to serve and extraordinary God.
God Bless you all!
The title of this post sounds a lot more innocent than it really is. I wanted to title this post, What To Say To the Mother Of A Large Family If You Enjoy Getting Smacked Upside Your Head but I thought that was a tad too wordy.
As you can probably imagine, the comments that I get on a daily basis range from light hearted to down right inappropriate. Some people adore the thought of a large family or perhaps they were raised in one themselves. Others are amazed at our stupidity.
The comments started a lot earlier than you would think. We started getting them after we had our second and soon after I was expecting again. You would think a woman pushing two children around in a shopping cart with a pregnant belly wouldn't draw too much attention but you would be very wrong.
So without further ado, here are some of the gems that we have heard over the years. I have arranged these in no particular order but I have included what I have wanted to say (or in some cases did say) for your reading enjoyment. :-)
1. Don't you know what causes that? What I thought: Really? Really!?! Do I need to explain this to you? What I have really said: "It either has something to do with us washing our underwear together or it's something in the water."
2. Are you Catholic, Mormon, Amish....? What I thought: Do I look Amish? Profile much? What I said: "No, we are Primitive Baptist and no, not all Primitive Baptist have X number children."
3. Don't you have a T.V./cable? What I thought: If you think anything on television is more fun than what causes kids then you, my dear, are doing it wrong. What I have said: "Why, yes, we do."
4. Are they all yours? What I thought: No, we just drive around and pick up kids until our van is full and then we go grocery shopping. What we say: Daniel tells them that they are all his but he's not sure who their Moms are.
5. You sure have your hands full. What I thought: Sure do, now let me cut in line. :-) What I said: "Yes, I do. We have been very blessed."
6. What kind of birth control do you use? (This is the rudest comment ever.) What I thought: Really? How is that any of your business? What I said: "We don't believe in birth control." I think in the future I will just repeat the question to the person that asks it. (If they are asking in a mean spirit.)
7. Which one is your favorite (the best kid)? Usually followed closely by, Which one is your least favorite (or the worst kid)? (This one is usually asked in front of all of the kids.) What I thought: What kind of idiot are you to ask me that, especially in front of my kids? What Daniel said: "What kind of question is that and why would you ask me it in front of the kids?. LOL
8. Are you planning on getting fixed? What I thought? You are a nosey rosy. I think you should fix your manners. What I said: "Clearly, nothing is broken."
9. Better you than me! What I thought: With that attitude, yes! What I said: "Yes ma'am/sir."
10. When are you gonna stop? What I thought: When you stop asking silly questions. What I said: "Well, we aren't gonna stop until we have an ugly one and every time we have another they just keep getting cuter!" or "That's up to God."
I could go on but I see no need. As you can see, there is no end to the nonsense. In fact, it has become a source of amusement for Daniel and I to watch people in restaurants as we walk to our table. Most people aren't aware of how their heads bob up and down and how their mouths move when they are counting the children. We just smile, sit the kids down in their spots and hope that they behave. If we are approached we smile and try and convey to the person that is inquiring into our lives that we are just ordinary people trying to serve and extraordinary God.
God Bless you all!
Be Fruitful and Multiply
To Be Fruitful and Multiply
I hope that you all are having a very blessed Monday morning. It was a great weekend for the Warrick Family. First, we enjoyed a visit from Daniels parents and then we were so blessed to have a wonderful Sunday full of fun and fellowship at church for Easter Sunday. Some of the women in the church put together an Easter egg hunt for the kids and they had a ball! They also had plenty of sugar! Daniel and I did as well since we have imposed a candy tax on our children. This means that anytime our children hit the jackpot and their "cup runneth over" with candy, we get a piece (or two). Ah... the perks of being a parent.
Any who, as I was looking over the pictures of all of the children hunting eggs, I realized how blessed each set of parents was that was there yesterday. We have all been blessed with one (or more) of the Lord's blessings. Each time a child comes into the world the Lord is trusting you with the nurturing of one of his miracles. Have you ever thought about that? That is a very humbling thought.
I decided to look up in the Bible the term "be fruitful and multiply". I used the King James Version of the Bible (the only Bible that we use) that is online. I was lazy and the computer version counts it for me. :-) The phrase "be fruitful and multiply" is found 64 times. It applies to having children 48 times. The other 16 are references to animals and fields being fruitful. If something is mentioned over and over in the Bible, I believe that we better pay attention. We also believe that God has not rescended this command so it still is applicable to life today. Has God changed or have we?
I also looked for references that describe children. The ones that I found describe children as a reward, blessing, or an heritage of the Lord. These do not seem to be negative words to describe children. In fact, the words that the scriptures use to describe children are some of the most positive words we can think of. (Has God changed or have we?)
If this is the case, why is it that so many people seek to avoid having a child? It's not just a "worldly" attitude either. It is an idea that has invaded the Lord's people as well. So, I decided to look up several different words/phrases that have to do with not want children or wanting to limit the number of children that are born. In every scriptural instance that I found, being childless or having limited children was spoken of in a way that, in my opinion, shows that it is a shameful thing. (Has God changed or have we?)
Now, I am in now way striking out at anyone. Everyone has to read the Bible for themselves and make their own choices. I am just pointing out that it was frowned upon.
So why are so many people today more interested in having a huge home, a brand new car, and all of the bells and whistles (along with the bills) that come with having it all? At the same time, why are they so sure that their hearts and pocketbooks can only handle one or two children? Wouldn't another child be more enjoyable to have around than a jet ski? And why have a mini-mansion with all of the perfect decor if there will only be very few people around the home to enjoy it?
Having a large family isn't for everyone. I certainly didn't think that it would be for me until I met my husband and his rather large extended family. Daniel was the oldest of five children and his mother was one of twelve. The get togethers at his Grandpas house were quite an event. People roamed all around the property and house. Children climb all the trees, played in the woods, and some even spent their whole weekends camping down at the bayou. It was all so strange and wonderful to me. I never wanted to leave once I got there. There were so many people to talk to and such good food and fellowship. I love those memories that I have from that time in my life. I never thought that I would get any of the names straight!
Then there are people that would go out to Grandpa's and while they would enjoy their time there, they would leave and be glad to get back to the calm of their life. You see, when you have many children, there is much chaos at times. There are many opinions, some squabbles, lots and lots and lots of noise, lots of dirty dishes, and lots of dirty clothes. Some people just cannot deal with it or so they think. God grows us into our roles most of the time. Sometimes we do have to jump in with both feet and flail around until we realize that God only threw us into water that was just shallow enough for us. Then we stand up and carry on. I could not have handled six kids whenever I first got married. I couldn't handle myself! I was 18 years old when we were married and Daniel was only 20.
God has only given us what we can handle. He is a great God and He knows His children. We let God plan our family. No, we are not trying to be the next Duggar family, although they are good role models. We are just putting the size of our family in God's hands and putting faith in Him since He knows best. We are of the mind that if God said to do something in the Bible, you are supposed to do it. If God said not to do something then you don't do it. If he is silent on a subject then you have to read the word and look at the examples that are given and use those instances to form your opinion. As long as you do it prayerfully and with love, you are on the right track.
Look at your children and see them as the blessings that they are!
God Bless you all!
I hope that you all are having a very blessed Monday morning. It was a great weekend for the Warrick Family. First, we enjoyed a visit from Daniels parents and then we were so blessed to have a wonderful Sunday full of fun and fellowship at church for Easter Sunday. Some of the women in the church put together an Easter egg hunt for the kids and they had a ball! They also had plenty of sugar! Daniel and I did as well since we have imposed a candy tax on our children. This means that anytime our children hit the jackpot and their "cup runneth over" with candy, we get a piece (or two). Ah... the perks of being a parent.
Any who, as I was looking over the pictures of all of the children hunting eggs, I realized how blessed each set of parents was that was there yesterday. We have all been blessed with one (or more) of the Lord's blessings. Each time a child comes into the world the Lord is trusting you with the nurturing of one of his miracles. Have you ever thought about that? That is a very humbling thought.
I decided to look up in the Bible the term "be fruitful and multiply". I used the King James Version of the Bible (the only Bible that we use) that is online. I was lazy and the computer version counts it for me. :-) The phrase "be fruitful and multiply" is found 64 times. It applies to having children 48 times. The other 16 are references to animals and fields being fruitful. If something is mentioned over and over in the Bible, I believe that we better pay attention. We also believe that God has not rescended this command so it still is applicable to life today. Has God changed or have we?
I also looked for references that describe children. The ones that I found describe children as a reward, blessing, or an heritage of the Lord. These do not seem to be negative words to describe children. In fact, the words that the scriptures use to describe children are some of the most positive words we can think of. (Has God changed or have we?)
If this is the case, why is it that so many people seek to avoid having a child? It's not just a "worldly" attitude either. It is an idea that has invaded the Lord's people as well. So, I decided to look up several different words/phrases that have to do with not want children or wanting to limit the number of children that are born. In every scriptural instance that I found, being childless or having limited children was spoken of in a way that, in my opinion, shows that it is a shameful thing. (Has God changed or have we?)
Now, I am in now way striking out at anyone. Everyone has to read the Bible for themselves and make their own choices. I am just pointing out that it was frowned upon.
So why are so many people today more interested in having a huge home, a brand new car, and all of the bells and whistles (along with the bills) that come with having it all? At the same time, why are they so sure that their hearts and pocketbooks can only handle one or two children? Wouldn't another child be more enjoyable to have around than a jet ski? And why have a mini-mansion with all of the perfect decor if there will only be very few people around the home to enjoy it?
Having a large family isn't for everyone. I certainly didn't think that it would be for me until I met my husband and his rather large extended family. Daniel was the oldest of five children and his mother was one of twelve. The get togethers at his Grandpas house were quite an event. People roamed all around the property and house. Children climb all the trees, played in the woods, and some even spent their whole weekends camping down at the bayou. It was all so strange and wonderful to me. I never wanted to leave once I got there. There were so many people to talk to and such good food and fellowship. I love those memories that I have from that time in my life. I never thought that I would get any of the names straight!
Then there are people that would go out to Grandpa's and while they would enjoy their time there, they would leave and be glad to get back to the calm of their life. You see, when you have many children, there is much chaos at times. There are many opinions, some squabbles, lots and lots and lots of noise, lots of dirty dishes, and lots of dirty clothes. Some people just cannot deal with it or so they think. God grows us into our roles most of the time. Sometimes we do have to jump in with both feet and flail around until we realize that God only threw us into water that was just shallow enough for us. Then we stand up and carry on. I could not have handled six kids whenever I first got married. I couldn't handle myself! I was 18 years old when we were married and Daniel was only 20.
God has only given us what we can handle. He is a great God and He knows His children. We let God plan our family. No, we are not trying to be the next Duggar family, although they are good role models. We are just putting the size of our family in God's hands and putting faith in Him since He knows best. We are of the mind that if God said to do something in the Bible, you are supposed to do it. If God said not to do something then you don't do it. If he is silent on a subject then you have to read the word and look at the examples that are given and use those instances to form your opinion. As long as you do it prayerfully and with love, you are on the right track.
Look at your children and see them as the blessings that they are!
God Bless you all!
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